:3

I actually have no clue how this is going to turn. We're both more in each others life then before so....

Dammit

Carrying my Grandma in the middle of the night out of the car ): She hurt her back and can't sit or get up ugh she was in so much pain... she's so old now... if she were... I just won't be able to stand it if were to happen in my presence again... being strong has it's limits. I just got to take care of her for now and hope for the best.

Ye,

there was a time I wanted attention. There are always people who want attention, but now I couldn't really give a sh*t. There was the time I had massive amount of pimples to... ugh worse stage of my teenage life LOL I always had to pop em. I've been fat, skinny and built muscle. There was a time I was really dedicated to school but now I'm lazy, there was also the time I believed I didn't care about anything but I knew I cared about everything all the time. I've been there and done that, not everything; there's defiantly a lot more to do. I'ved lied, bull-shited, trusted, loved, liked, hurt people, been hurt, been envious, been jealous and learnt more about more about myself then ever. I realize my capabilities and limits I'm human after all and I know the hard work I'll soon accomplish will never erase the sins and hating I've done but it's something that'll at least pre-occupy me from the past. I don't think a lot anymore, I use to over-think and get emotional over stupid things but what point is that? It makes things worse, the only thinking I've been doing is a way to improve myself as a person. It's better not to meddle in other peoples lives but be apart of their lives for better memories. The do's and the don'ts its all there in my face yet I'm alive and should take the risk when needed. I'm not going to rush, I've changed and I know better then to force anything. I'm learning from everything I've done. I really only have a few goal this summer, earn money n' save, get back in shape and hopefully build a strong bond with this person whom a hope to go to grad with- there's still a lot of time; so now it's time to savour my last year of high-school ^^

Waiting,

is one of the hardest thing a human can do, I'm not talking about seconds or minutes here; months or several years. If I can wait just to learn more, to trust more and to find that right timing it'll be so f*cking worth it ((: I can't "yolo" like one of my stupid friend suggest there's a boundary for stupidity- I duhno but I feel its kinda different this time, just can't place my finger on it. MEH~ oh well just gotta wait now.